Marriage Advice: The 8 Communication Skills of Happy couple

The 8 Key Communication Skills in Marriage

What are the keys to communication skills in marriage? Research on successful marriages shows that it’s how couples communicate. Happy and joyous couples have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions on average. To learn more about how communication skills can change this key relationship of your life, check out this course on ‘Effective Communication Skills’ by One Education. 

A happy relationship is where couples can open their heart and mind to talk freely. It is necessary to feel safe sharing their most private thoughts in a relationship. Happy couples comfortably express their concerns and opinions when needed. They voice their thoughts and concerns with clarity and maturity. Both marriage partners talk while being mature. They also keep a distance from hurtful, attacking, or criticising comments.

Happy partners listen to each other attentively. As a result, they don’t get bitter while talking. Instead, they approach their conversations with empathy and understanding. They do not dismiss what their partner has to say. And they do so even if they hold a different perspective. Thus, after having a conversation, they both feel good about the conversation.  

Also, they feel their concerns have been considered and addressed. Later on, this encourages them to use the opportunity to talk with each other. And regardless of the seriousness or urgency of the issues, they make sure to follow through.

So if applicable next time, just try to keep the following eight tips in mind:

1. Listen carefully before speaking

2. Be willing to see their point of view

3. Respond to criticism with empathy

4. Own your flaws

5. Use ‘I’ rather than ‘You’

6. Try to compromise

7. Take a necessary time-out

8. Don’t be hesitant to ask for help

1. Listen Carefully Before Speaking

Often people think that they are listening. But in reality, they are searching for their next words as a response. Hence, be mindful the next time when you are in a conversation with your partner. Before you respond, try to listen with a complete presence of mind.

An effective conversation should flow from both ends- though it might be difficult. Try to have patience and listen to what your partner is saying. Do not interrupt, do not get defensive. Just hear them out. Respond appropriately so that they can sense your participation. At the end of their talk, you’ll understand better what they were trying to say. As a result, they will show the same patience and willingness to listen to you.

Pro Tip: Practise active listening in your daily conversations.

2. Be Willing to See Their Point of View

Craving to feel heard and understood is an inherent human tendency. Therefore, we focus a lot on proving our point right. Getting the other person to see things our way seems to matter the most. We all do it, so it’s understandable. However, prioritising our thought too much can backfire. 

Imagine that your partner is doing the same thing. If they habitually put too much emphasis only on their perspective, how would you feel? Ironically, if you both focus on proving yourself right, no one will get heard in the end. As a result, everyone will end up feeling ignored and misunderstood. So, what’s the point of communicating?

Have an open mind to see the other side of the story. After that, you can better explain yours. In case you don’t get the point, ask questions until you do. Eventually, others will more likely be willing to do the same.

3. Respond to Criticism With Empathy

When someone is criticising us, it is easy for us to feel defensive. Criticism is always hard to accept. And that happens mainly because the other person’s emotions often magnify them. However, we must focus on the cause behind that criticism rather than the words. Therefore, try to listen to the pain and respond with empathy as much as possible. 

Pro Tip: Practising mindfulness meditation can help you to better respond to criticism.

4. Own Your Flaws

Do you know personal responsibility is a strength rather than a weakness? Effective communication includes recognising and admitting when you’re wrong. 

For example, if you have some responsibility in a conflict, look for and admit to what’s yours. Set your ego-self aside, set a good example, and show maturity. It will also inspire the other person to reflect in the same manner. As a result, it will lead you two closer to mutual understanding and a solution.